my why
After going through the most incredible experience (but also, DAMN that was hard work) with my first pregnancy and birth in 2017
I felt so strongly that I needed to get involved in birth work. I was drawn in. I wanted to connect, help and support.
I wanted to give back what was missing from my experience.
I started looking into midwifery courses, doulas, lactation consultants. all of it.
But when I reflected back on my own birth there was ONE thing I felt was missing that I wish I had.
I had NO photos..
There was nothing for me to look back on, other than my own memories.
But they were so blurry and unclear and WHAT had just happened?!
I could not look back and admire myself, my body and my baby for what we went through.
I don’t know the look of my husbands face when he saw his daughter for the first time.
How I grabbed her and pulled her up to my chest to meet for the very first time.
All I had was a couple of blurry iPhone photos HOURS after my daughter was born.
I would’ve loved to see the emotions in the room, the oxytocin flowing, when my girl took her first breath, our skin to skin, first hello and the life-changing first feed.
I also went in for surgery an hour after the birth and missed that one-on-one time my then husband had together with Summer.
How I wish I had something from their time together while I was away, as this left a huge empty gap.
My biggest regret is not having any photos to show her when she is older.
My second birth in 2019 was SO different!!
I did the research, I educated myself and I made it happen.
I birthed on my own terms.
I got the birth I planned, AND some photos! To read the story and see the images, see post in my blog.
What a difference. I have NEVER felt so empowered! And I honestly look at these pictures all the time.
Nothing as special as this.
They do really mean the world to me, and I am still so upset I didn’t get to have memories like these from my first birth.
I hope that one day, we get to create some magic together.